Writer's Block
by demongirl47
Summary: A young authoress suddenly finds herself surrounded by fictional characters. Les Mis, POTO, Jane Eyre, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Journey to the Center of the Earth, The Odyssey, Tom Sawyer, Alice in Wonderland, The Scarlet Pimpernel and others...
1. The start of the madness

Writer's Block

Chapter one by Demongirl47

**Disclaimer: Erik belongs to Gaston Leroux, Javert to Victor Hugo (not to me sadly)**

On a particularly warm and dull summer day, Violet sat at her desk strumming her fingers on one hand, and resting her chin against the other hand while staring at the blank page before her. Turning her head towards the window in her home office, she gazed out at the birds building a nest in the tree in her front yard. She watched them work for a few minutes before snapping her attention back to what she was supposed to be doing. Staring again at the paper, she sighed and picked up a pencil. She began to write something, then crumpled up the paper and tossed it, barely missing the waste basket .

Sighing, she leaned back in her chair and said aloud, " An author's job is to write a story so unique and descriptive that the character's seem to come alive in order to captivate readers... But why is it so hard to come up with good ideas?" Grabbing a new sheet of paper, she began to write again, and again crumpled up the paper.

She pushed herself away from the desk and stood.

"Forget it," she grumbled, " I need some fresh air,"

Violet got into her car and drove to her favorite hiking spot, not too far from her house. She took a deep lungful of air and smiled.

" Nothing like fresh mountain air to clear your head," Violet observed. Pulling her backpack higher on her shoulders, she began to walk into the woods.

After a while of hiking up the mountains, she came across the wide, yawning mouth of a cave. Grabbing a flashlight from her bag, she decided to check it out. She began to descend into the darkness of the cave. In a short amount of time she had traveled a long way. And, of course, her flashlight fizzled out and died.

She sighed. "Yup…. This is creepy. Maybe I'll have some inspiration for a horror novel." She tried to backtrack a few steps, but tripped over a rock and fell flat on her face.

Suddenly a powerful voice sounded behind her. "Why have you come to Erik's lair?"

Violet nearly jumped out of her skin. "Huh- Who said that?"

The voice said darkly, "You will not live long enough to find out."

"Wha-_hoik_!" Before she had time to react, a rope was thrown over her neck and tightened, cutting off her air ways. With her face turning blue, Violet flailed her arms and started kicking at whoever was strangling her. Luckily, one of her kicks managed to land on the spot where no man should be kicked.

"ERP!" she heard her captor squeak. The rope loosened and she tore it off.

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" she yelled at him.

The person gasped then said in a higher-than-before pitched voice, "No one disturbs Erik's lair!"

A faint glow of light appeared from ahead of them. The light came closer and a new voice yelled, "EEEERIK!"

"Oh perfect," grumbled Erik. Violet could now see her captor. He was tall, wearing some really fancy clothing, like something from the Nineteenth century. On his face he wore a black mask.

The owner of the second voice appeared, holding up a lit torch. He was also dressed in some weird old clothing, but more like a police uniform, and he had huge sideburns.

"Erik, what are you doing?" the second man said, "Nothing unlawful I hope."

Violet stood up and pointed to the second man. " Wait a sec, who're you?"

With a slight bow of his head he replied, "Inspector Javert, mademoiselle."

"And what are you doing here."

"Making sure Erik is not doing anything wrong."

Violet crossed her arms. "Oh you mean like strangling defenseless women?"

"Exactly."

Erik rolled his eyes. "If you're not going to let me kill her, could you at least finish this chat elsewhere?"

At that moment, Violet had an epiphany. "Hang on, Inspector Javert, like from Les Misérables? And Erik as in The Phantom of the Opera? What are you, like actors or something?" She inquired.

With an absolutely appalled look, Javert snapped back, "Most certainly not! Horrible profession, wouldn't dream of it! We are exactly who we say we are."

Violet raised a skeptic eyebrow. "But that would mean you're book characters."

"Yes."

"But that's impossible.!"

"Ah, my dear," Erik chimed in, "One should never call anything impossible."

Sadly Violet shook her head. "Oh I see, I'm hallucinating, my friend Jenny always said I would…" She poked both Erik and Javert on their arms. "But you feel real enough. How can this be?"

" Well you see, when a story is written(especially a descriptive story), the author puts a lot of heart and soul into a lot of the characters. So much so that quite often the characters become living, breathing, thinking beings. However, real though they may then be, they are invisible to the senses of ordinary people." Javert answered her.

"Why is that?"

Because while ordinary beings wish that certain novel characters were real, they know in their hearts that they aren't. Without people to believe in us we can't be seen."

Violet sniggered. "Do you know how lame that sounds? 'We need to be believed in.' That sounds like some stereotypical fairytale."

Javert's cheeks turned red. "Well it's true!"

"Well okay, but then why is it that I can see you?"

"You have the aura of a writer, and writers can usually see us with greater ease, plus nearly being strangled by Erik helps notice us."

"Okay, one more question, Mr. Fictional Character. Les Misérables was written like 100+ years ago, why is it that you're still kicking around?" "Since we're not entirely real, we cannot age and therefore cannot die."

Violet nodded. "Right…."

Erik sighed irritably. " Now that you've had this chat will both of you GO AWAY?"

"Let me see that torch a sec," Violet asked Javert. He handed it to her, and she took a step towards Erik.

"What are you-" He started to say before Violet swiped the mask from his face. Erik blinked a couple of times and Violet made a quick examination of his deformed face.

"So you're face really is deformed! You guys are telling the truth! Oh Erik, you poor thing."

"How dare you!" Erik grabs the mask. "Give me that!" He adjusted the mask back on his face and let out a brisk sigh. "Well now that you've seen my face, you cannot leave, any woman who sees this monster's face must stay with him forever."

"Of course I can leave, I need to get back to writing and I have a dentist appointment tomorrow! But you can come with me if you want, I have lots of room at my home and no one should live in a cave. Come on." She begins marching away.

Erik followed after her. "Wait, come back!"

Violet whirled around and stopped him in his tracks.

"Do you want me to kick you again?" She threatened. Erik covered his vital regions and shook his head.

Violet again walked away. "Then let's go."


	2. The madness expands

**Writer's block Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: I fail at owning anything but Violet. Erik belongs to Gaston Leroux. Javert Belongs to Victor Hugo (though I wish I could claim him). Alice belongs to Lewis Carroll. Helena belongs to Shakespeare. **

After walking for a time, they finally reached the entrance of the cave. And not too soon, Violet was beginning to feel terribly claustrophobic. Blinking from the light, they stopped and rubbed their eyes until they were adjusted to the sunlight. Violet turned and smiled at the two book characters.

"My house isn't too far, and my car is parked at the base of this mounta-" she began to say when a twig snapped behind her.

Javert tightened the grip he held on his nightstick and Erik said, "What was that?"

A few feet away, some tall bushes started to rustle. The Trio jumped into defense stance, Javert wielding his nightstick, Erik holding his Punjab lasso, and Violet brandishing her Karate hands. A black shoe popped out of the bush followed by the body of a ten year old blonde girl. Behind her came a tall, dirty blonde haired young woman of maybe twenty three years.

When they saw the trio, the two beamed.

The little girl cried happily, "Oh look, people! Have you seen a white rabbit?"

"Or my Demetrius?" asked the young woman.

Curtsying, the little girl added, "I'm Alice, by the way."

"And I am Helena." said the other.

Javert and Erik dropped their weapons and Violet skipped over to them.

"Oh cool!" said Violet as she shook both of their hands, "I am a _huge _fan of you two! I can't believe I'm actually standing next to you! My name is Violet, Violet Hancock, but you can just call me Vi."

Helena pulled her hand away and said, "Er…. Thank you, um, Vi?"

"And we haven't seen a rabbit or a Demetrius." Violet added.

Alice stamped her foot in frustration and Helena sighed, "Darn it!"

"But you can come with us if you'd like."

Erik rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, the more the merrier."

Violet clapped him on the back and gave him a wink. "Glad you feel that way Erik! Let's get moving."

After a while, they reached the car and drove away. It was extremely quiet in the car and Violet, usually a very social person, was getting a little bored.

"Hmm. Awkward silence. If you guys don't mind I'm going to turn on some tunes." Violet popped a cd into her stereo.

'It's the tiiiime of the seeesooon for looooooooving-"

Covering his ears with his hands, Erik yelled, "What is this disgrace to music? It makes my ears bleed!"

"Only the greatest rock band in the world, The Zombies!" said Violet, very offended.

"Only the walking dead could make music like that! Turn it off! It is giving Erik a concussion!"

"Fine!" Violet turned off her stereo and the car again zoomed silently along.

Deciding that conversation of some sort was in order, Violet piped up, "So guys, I was wandering, why is it that you guys are in America, instead of around Europe, where your stories take place?"

"Anything to get as far away from _Valjean_ as possible," Javert responded, "Besides, America is the land of opportunity."

"Erik couldn't stand living under the _Palais Garnier _without his beloved Christine, so he came here to ease his pain." said Erik.

Violet glanced at him from the rearview mirror. "I thought you died."

Erik shrugged. "Only in the book."

"Oh." They sat again in silence while Violet contemplated this. Returning to the conversation, Violet complimented, "Well, you know, your English is flawless."

"We book characters are fluent in many languages." said Javert.

Violet raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"Of course. After all, how many languages have we been translated into?"

Violet nodded and contemplated again. "_Life for fictional people sure sounds fun_," she thought.

As they neared Violet's house, they drove up to a fairly large river. While they drove over the rickety bridge, Violet noticed that Javert had his eyes squeezed shut. When they crossed it and they pulled up to Violet's home, he reopened his eyes.

And what a house it was, to be more precise, the house was actually a decent sized but not too vast Victorian style mansion on the edge of a forest.

They got out of the car and the characters took a long look at the house.

Violet beamed. "Well here we are! Chateau Chateau! My not-so-humble abode!"

While still surveying the architecture, Alice inquired, "Wow it is a large home, do you have a family?"

Violet shook her head. "No I haven't been married yet, it's just me. I inherited it from some rich relative I've never met. I am supposed to have two roommates move in next month though…"

"Not married?" Helena repeated.

"Yeah…" Violet rubbed the back of her neck. "I've never actually been on a date." she admitted," I've hardly ever even talked to any guys outside of my family."

"Loser," Erik coughed.

Violet was about to snap something back at him, but sighed and said, "I know."

They went inside the house and Violet started divvying up the space.

"Javert you can have the room at the end of the hall, and Erik you can stay in the room by the back door. Alice there's a small room at the top of the stairs with toys and things you can play with, and Helena, you can have the one next to mine."

"Thank you, but you needn't trouble yourself on my account," Erik informed her, "I don't sleep so I shan't need a room."

Violet laughed. "Nonsense! Everybody sleeps, even phantoms. Now be quiet and accept my hospitality."

Erik folded his arms. "You're very forceful, aren't you?"

"You have _no_ idea."

* * *

**DG: **After a long absense, I have returned at last to bring you DA DA DAAAH the second chapter!

**Erik:** And an incredibly boring chapter too**. **

**DG:** Well excuuuuse me princess! The story gets more exciting the further on you go into it, it's just the first few intro chaps aren't all amazazing! Just wait, it'll get better... eventually

**Erik:** pfft, sure it will. And Justin Bieber will reach puberty.

**Javert:** How long did it take _you _reach puberty?

**Erik:** Well, I, Um... sweet music's throne will you look at the time, I've got some composing to do! *drops through trapdoor*

**DG: **Yeah... Well, if you love Javert review! He'll be your Valentine!

**Javert:** Stop telling people that!


	3. New arrival, hot chocolate and insomnia

Writer's Block Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Were I to own all these characters, I would be the coolest person in the world. As such, I am not. Instead, Erik belongs to Leroux; Javert to Hugo; Alice to Carroll; Helena to Shakespeare; Jane Eyre to Charlotte Bronte. **

After getting her new friends settled into their rooms, just when Violet was stopping to catch her breath, the doorbell rang. She went to the door and opened it. Standing before her was a small, brown haired woman with large hazel eyes.

The woman flashed her a tiny smile and held out her hand to Violet. As Violet shook it, she said in a quiet voice with a slight sound of worry, "Hello, I don't mean to intrude, but I was wondering if you would be so kind as to let me stay the night? You see, I was separated from my husband while taking a stroll through the forest-"

"Say no more," Violet smiled, "Of course you may stay the night! May I ask your name?"

The woman beamed. "Jane Rochester, formerly Jane Eyre."

Violet led Jane inside. With a smirk she thought, "_Jeez, another book character? They seem to be attracted to me the way a fat man is to hot dogs_."

She opened the door to the living room, where the others were at the moment, and gestured for Jane to go in. She followed and closed the door. Turning toward the characters, she laid a hand on Jane's shoulder and announced to them, "Hey everybody, this is Jane. She's spending the night. Make sure she feels comfortable. I'm going to make us some hot chocolate." Then she whisked herself out the door again, leaving the young woman to mingle with the others. For a moment, they just exchanged pointed stares.

Finally, Javert stood up and shook her hand. "Good evening madam. I am Inspector Javert." Pointing to the others one by one he went on, "The little girl is Alice, this is Helena, and the pitiful creature here is Erik.

"I resent that," Erik hissed.

A moment later, pushing the door open with her back, Violet whirled in carrying a large tray with cocoa mugs and a plate full of snicker doodles. "Okay every body! Piping hot chocolate! Enjoy!" She carefully set a mug in front of each of them, then placed the cookies on her coffee table. They sat and quietly drank their cocoa, except for Erik. He took a moment to examine the glass, swirling around the contents. "Hm." He held it up to his mask where his nose should have been, and "smelled" it. Still cautious, he took a small sip of it. His eyes, visibly brightened (you could tell he had eyes at the moment, for the room was not too bright) and he soon drained his mug. Finding that Violet had also laid out napkins on the coffee table, he took one and wiped his mouth. Violet grinned.

"Wow Erik, you sure like your chocolate!"

He shrugged. "It was alright."

Violet stood up from her chair and took his mug. "I'll go get you some more."

As she left the room, Erik said, "Thank you."

As soon as he did, the others stared at him blankly. He stared back. "What?"

The women looked away. Javert smirked and said, "Erik thanked someone? It must be a sign of the apocalypse."

Erik seriously considered punjabing him until he remembered that Violet would more than likely kick him for it.

The sun set late, as it was summer. The company stayed up another hour or so before Violet yawned, "Well, it's late, I guess we should turn in."

Without a word of protest, Alice rubbed her eyes and wearily made her way upstairs. Erik said, "Very well." and slipped away. Javert bowed deeply and said, "Good night," before gliding off.

"Well, I guess it's just us then," Helena remarked.

Violet turned to the other two women. "You know what this means?"

Jane and Helena looked at each other, then back at Violet. They shook their heads.

Violet threw up her hands and cried with excitement, "SLUMBER PARTY!"

Back in his room, Javert was doing an investigation into the décor. He rubbed his finger across the windowsill.

"Dusty. _Tsk, Tsk_." He cast a disapproving eye across the room. Sighing, he started to move towards his bed when he stepped on a remote control, turning on the T.V. sitting atop a shelf in the room. At the sound of the T.V. turning on, he jumped. Picking up the remote he stepped on, he pointed it at the T.V. and spent a moment turning it on and off.

"Whoa," he said. It will be assumed that he had never before seen a television set. He must not have gotten out much in the last hundred and fifty years.

While Javert was playing with this new development, Erik was suffering from insomnia in his room, with nothing better to do than stare at the digital clock on his bedside table. He was beginning to miss his nice cave and his cozy coffin. Laying down on his pillow, he sighed and said aloud, "Erik cannot sleep." Standing up, he crossed the floor and exited the room, then made his way upstairs towards the library, where the three women were at. The door was cracked open. Holding his ear next to the door he listened in to their conversation.

He could make out Jane's voice. "…..go fish Helen."

"Drat!," said Helena's voice.

"So what's with Demetrius Helena?" Violet's voice asked. "Why are you looking for him?"

Helena sighed. "He ran away again looking for _Hermia_."

"But aren't you married?"

"Yes, but the love potion on his eyes wore off."

"Ooh…. Tough break. Well, maybe we can find Oberon and have him put some more juice in his eyes."

"Yeah maybe…."

Erik pulled away from the conversation and slipped back downstairs.

With great skill, Violet shuffled the playing cards and dealed them out in just a few seconds. When she was finished, she turned to Jane and said, "Jane I really must tell you, I think your's and Mr. Rochester's story is one of the sweetest love stories I've ever heard."

Jane blushed a little and giggled for no apparent reason. "Why thank you!"

"When I first read the book when I was a teenager, I especially loved how in the end, you stilly married him, even though his looks got ruined in that fire… I was more than a bit superficial in those days…. You know I wish there were someone like you for Erik. Someone who can love him and not call him a monster…"

Helena laughed darkly as she drew a card. "Then I would pity the poor girl. Even without his deformity, he is still a selfish, sneaky, murderous freak."

Violet set down her cards. "He probably wouldn't be if someone was nice to him. I bet that all he really needs for a change of heart is a true friend."

There was a knock at Erik's door. Once again picking himself out of his insomnia ridden bed, he thought to himself, "Who can that be?" and opened the door. It was Violet. "Violet?" She was holding a bundle in her arms.

"Hello Erik, may I come in?" she asked.

"Yes of course," He opened the door wider and she stepped in. "But Violet, it is 3:00 in the morning, shouldn't you be asleep?"

She shrugged. "I couldn't sleep." She sat down on his bed and smoothed out her nightgown. "But look, I brought you something." She gestured at the bundle.

"A….. A gift? For Erik?" Words can hardly express his surprise.

"Yeah, it's not much," she waved for him to sit down. He did. "I grabbed it out of an old costume box in the attic." she pulled back the wraps of cloth on the bundle to reveal a full face white mask. "I think I white mask would look better on you that that black one." Erik took it from her and looked at it for a minute.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "Would.. Would you please turn around while I put this on?"

"Sure," Violet turned so that her back was facing him. For added measure, Erik also turned, just to be positive she wouldn't see his face unmasked. He pulled off his black mask. "…..Just so you know, you're not a monster Erik."

"What do you mean?" he asked as he adjusted the white mask to his face- it fit perfectly.

Violet laughed. "Well, first of all, your parents weren't monsters, so you must have been born human." Taking on a more serious tone she continued, "And not every body looks like a super model, so what? So what if you were born with a deformity? You're still a person, and you have the right to be treated like one."

Erik turned to look back at her. "You mean my looks don't bother you at all? Even after you've seen them with your own eyes?"

Violet turned back to face him. "Not in the slightest…. And Erik, I just wanted to apologize if I was a little… forceful earlier. That's just how I am when I get nervous meeting people for the first time."

"Oh that isn't necessary, there's no prob-"

"And I wanted to tell you that if you ever need a friend, I'm right there."

Erik stared at her and blinked a few times before responding. "…..Thank you Violet. That really means a lot."

Violet smiled and stood. "Well goodnight Erik."

"Goodnight Violet."

She turned and left Erik alone to reflect.


	4. Fun with fairies

**Writer's Block Chapter Four **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the following: Erik, Javert (though I wish I did), Helena, Jane Eyre, Alice, Tom Sawyer, Harry Lawson, Demetrius, Puck, Oberon, or anyone else besides Violet. Because I fail at ownership. Yeah. **

*THIS CHAPTER WAS TYPED IN PART BY A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE*

Early the next morning, being awakened by Violet yelling at Javert for over inspecting the house and its privacy, every one made there way downstairs to the kitchen, following the intoxicating aroma of pancakes and bacon. Violet walked into the dining room, holding platters of food.

"Good morning everyone! Breakfast is on the table!" She said as she placed the platters onto the table. "Clean up when you're done, I've got to go to the dentist." She straightened up just to see Erik appearing at the door.

With a horrified expression, he yelled, "GOOD HEAVENS VIOLET! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOURSELF!"

"Oh, the outfit?" She said, while doing a pose. She was completely dressed in ripped tattered black clothes, even her hair was short and spiky black with purple tips. "Sometimes I dress up as characters from ideas I have for novels… This girl character is a Goth. Might give me some inspiration…" She said, while running a hand through her hair and fluffing it dramatically.

"Bu- But your hair…!" He said, even more horrified.

"Don't worry, it's a wig… Now if you excuse me I've got to go. Behave, and if you burn the house down the number's 9-1-1."

"I'm back everyone! Look who I found at the dent-" Violets words where cut off by her witnessing madness in the making. Erik was strangling Javert, Helena was crying for Demetrius, and Alice was the size of the whole room!

"ATTENTION!" Violet screamed, and everyone stopped immediately. "What did I say about behaving? If this happens again you'll all be sent to your rooms!"

Everybody replied, "Yes ma'am" in unison, while Erik mumbled under his breath, "Yes, _mother_…"

Violet was then distracted by the sudden realization that Jane was missing!

"Where's Jane?" She asked. Helena approached while sniffling. "L - looking-" She sniffed loudly- "for her h-husband… Because she shill h-has one!" Helena then broke down into a sob. Violet patted her on the back and handed her a tissue. Helena blew her nose like a trumpet and mumbled, "thanks…"

Turning to the rest of the group, Violet pointed at the young dark haired man standing behind her that no one noticed until now.

"Well, I was going to say that I found another character to bring home. This is Harry. He was taking notes on the patient in the room next to mine."

Harry grinned. " I was examining how he reacted to a root canal after receiving anesthesia…. I don't think they gave him enough."

Javert raised an eyebrow. "The population of this household expands every hour."

Violet laid a hand on Erik's shoulder.

"Hey Erik, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Certainly." He said, and he followed Violet into a deserted room. Violet sat down in a sofa and patted the seat next to her, and Erik sat his bony butt down.

"So…. You were trying to strangle Javert?"

Erik stared ahead and mumbled, "…maybe…"

"Uh-huh…Right, I think we need to find a new hobby for you… Wait right here…" She then disappeared through the door, and Erik was left alone with his mind running at a million miles per second.

A moment later she returned carrying an armful of clothes, which consisted of: Old gardening gloves, a brown t-shirt, raggedy overalls, and a well worn straw hat. She handed the clothes to Erik.

" Here, go put these on and meet me outside." Erik took the bundle with a raised eyebrow (which no-one else could see because of his mask) and slowly put them on. After that he found Violet in the garden, his head hanging low and obviously humiliated.

"Look'n good Erik!" Violet sniggered.

"Hmph…" said Erik, with a hateful scowl.

"Come on Erik!" Violet said, a little over enthusiastically, "We're going to my secret gardening spot!"

"Gardening? Do you think I'll be good at gardening?"Violet simply smiled and replied, "Of course! Just use the muscles you normally use for strangling to pull weeds instead!"

After a few minutes of demonstration and instructions, Violet soon had Erik gardening on his own.

"Now, cover those magnolia seeds up, yes, and now pour some water on them… Good! Wow Erik, you've done a great job! I think you're a natural gardener!" She patted him on the back and grinned.

Erik stood and wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He smiled back at her.

"I hate to admit it, but I've actually enjoyed this!" he told her.

"You'll enjoy it more once your flowers bloom. If you take good care of them, they'll sprout in no time, and you won't be able to strangle Javert if you're preoccupied." She turned towards the house and began walking towards it. Waving Erik to follow, she continued, "I think you've earned a glass of lemonade."

Erik didn't move. "What's that?"

Violet stopped and raised an eyebrow. "What, lemonade?"

Erik shook his head and pointed to the river flowing by her house. "No, that on the river!"

Violet used her hand to shield her eyes from the sunlight shining on the water and squinted. There was a squarish object floating towards them. It grew a bit clearer as it neared them. Violet could finally make it out.

"It looks like a raft!" she said.

Erik and Violet stepped over to the rivers edge to watch as the little craft floated up to them. Sitting on the craft was a small boy about Alice's age with dark curly locks of hair tucked under a well worn straw hat similar to the one Erik was still wearing. He was letting his bare feet dangle over the side of the raft to cool off in the water as he laid back against the "mast". He held and obviously homemade fishing pole that didn't seem to be catching anything. Seeing the two adults, he raised the brim of his hat in greeting.

"Why hello there!" Violet said to him as he "docked" his little vessel.

"Hi-yaw." He said as he tied the boat to a rock.

"Let me guess; you're Tom Sawyer."

"Yes'm."

"And you've run away from your Aunt Polly again."

"Gosh lady, you're sure smart!"

Violet walked over to him and stooped so they were eye level.

"Well Tom, would you be interested in some lemonade and cookies?"

"Golly would I!"

Violet laughed and stood up. Putting a hand on his shoulder, she led him to the house. Erik silently brought up the rear while Tom and Violet chatted away. Upon entering the house, Violet cried out, "AAAAALIIIIICE!"

The little blonde came rushing out of a room. When she reached Violet, she curtsied and said in that ever so sweet child's voice, "Yes?"

Violet pushed Tom, who was nervously hiding behind her, towards Alice. When Tom looked at Alice, his face grew visibly redder.

Laying a hand on his shoulder Violet said, "This is Tom. He's about you're age!"

Tom looked up at Violet with big eyes and said in a loud whisper, "Golly, she's prettier'n Becky Thatcher!"

Alice curtsied again. "Very nice to meet you Tom."

Tom cocked his head. "That's a funny accen' you got. Where ya from?"

"England."

"Oh, laws that's cool!"

Pushing the two of them out the front door, Violet said, "Go play you two."

The two children walked off talking.

Violet smiled. "Ah, young love."

"Quite." Erik agreed.

Later that evening just as the sun was setting, there was some ruffling of leaves coming from the bushes deep in the forest. The animals were running away from them.

"Shush, Helen! Be quiet or the plan won't work!" hissed one of the bushes.

"I'm sorry, but there are branches poking my-"

"SHHH!"

The good inspector Javert had just been taking a stroll through the woods when he over heard the talking foliage. Naturally curious, he went over to do his duty as an inspector and inspect the plants.

"Do you think this will work?" said one of the bushes as he got closer.

"It _has _work." said the other.

Javert peered over the bush and saw two familiar women crouched behind it, surrounded by a number of traps and nets.

"Helena? Violet? What _are _you two doing?" Javert inquired.

"SHH! Get down!" She pulled the inspector by the cravat over the bush where he landed in a heap next to them. "We're looking for Puck."

"Whom?" Javert whispered back as he sat up and brushed the dirt from his sleeves.

"Robin Goodfellow. We need him to take us to Oberon so he can put some more love potion in Demetrius' eyes to renew his love for Helena.

Javert raised an eyebrow. "Oh."

"I think he's coming!" Helena cried excitedly.

Just at that moment, a fairy whizzed by, having just pulled a great prank on some unsuspecting victim, and was singing with satisfaction. "Hum-dee-dee-dum!"

Violet stifled a giggle. "Pfft. Fairies is soooo dumb!" Not even the authoress is sure is she was just being silly with that comment, or if she really talks like that sometimes.

"Do you have the net?" Helena whispered to her as the two both received strange puzzled looks from Javert.

Violet reached over to their pile of traps and grabbed the net. "Yeah. Okay, on the count of three, we grab him, right? 1, 2, 3- NOW!" Like a pack of tigers (not that tigers like in packs, just go with it.) the three leapt over the bush towards Puck.

"What the-" he barely managed to say as the trio fell on top of him with the net, or we should say duo, Javert wasn't quite sure what was going on or how Violet and Helena managed to push him over the bush with them in their ambush. A moment of scuffling, then the dust settled. Violet and Helena triumphantly held their hostage high.

The fairy tried to break free of the net, but to no avail. " Oh my, what is going on?" he squeaked. He was thrashing, trying to break out of his rope cage. Violet held on tighter so he'd stop moving.

"Quiet fairy boy," she hissed to him in a threatening tone, " I spent eighteen months in the bush and could snap your neck in a heartbeat."

"Really?" Javert asked.

Violet laughed. "No, I've just always really wanted to say that to someone." She winked back at him, then slung her victim over her shoulder like a sack and walked along the forest trail.

"I demand you release me at once!" Puck shouted at her. "You've no idea the tricks I could play on you! I could turn you into a frog!"

Violet stopped. Taking a thin cord of rope, she tied an end of it to her wrist and the other end to Puck's ankle. "Listen fairy boy," she said as she tied, "we need you to take us to Oberon, pronto. This is really important."

Puck laughed darkly. "Mortals are not allowed to enter into the fairy kingdom!"

"Take us," Violet grasped Puck's wings between her thumb and forefinger, "Unless you wand to say goodbye to flying forever."

Puck broke out in a defeated sob. "Not my wings! Okay, I'll do anything! I'll take you to Oberon!"

Violet grinned. "Great! Lead on, wimpy one!"

Just as they started off further down onto the path, Javert growled, "This is kidnapping and threat! How unlawful!"

"We need him to help Helena. This is the only way." Violet said still following Puck.

Javert kept following, but glowered and folded his arms across his chest. "If I were still an officer of the law, I'd-"

Looking back at Javert over her shoulder, Violet said to him, "Throw me in jail for twenty plus years for helping someone…. Or stealing bread?"

Javert turned his head away. "Hmph!"

Violet rolled her eyes. "Come on!"

Finally they reached the fairy king's court. Violet cut the cord binding Puck to her. Puck zoomed over to Oberon who was reclining on his throne.

"My lord!"

Oberon looked up, and seeing the trio, jumped up and gasped. "What's this Puck? Mortals! Here? How dare you-!"

"I had no choice, my lord."

"Forget about that," She pushed her way past the fairy courtiers till she reached Oberon. "Listen Oberon, Can I call you Oby? Well Oby, this charming young lady is Helena, who I'm sure you've met before. Anyway, you know her hubby Demetrius? Well the Love In Idleness juice stuff you squirted in his eyes has worn off and now he's chasing Hermia again."

Oberon frowned. "Impossible! The effects of the flower are permanent!"

"Apparently only for only 400 years or so…"

Helena walked up to Oberon and sniffled. "Please sir," she looked up at him with the biggest, glossiest puppy dog eyes that have ever been seen on this earth, "Won't you help me?"

Oberon knit his eyebrows and looked back at her. He could only return her gaze for a few seconds before he cracked under the cuteness pressure. He let out a brisk sigh. "Oh fine, but only because it is somewhat my responsibility."

"YAY!" Violet and Helena both attack hugged him.

"Mortals, do not touch the fairy king." he pushed them away.

The fairies and out threesome were again lying in wait in the forest.

Violet crouched next to Oberon and whispered, "Has Puck found the flower yet?"

"Yes," the fairy king answered back, "And just in time; the flower was beginning to wilt."

The group could hear tired footsteps trudging along the forest path.

"Here comes my Demetrius!" Helena cried.

They could hear Demetrius yelling for Hermia. "Hermia, Hermia, oh where for art thou, Hermia?"

Helena began to sob. Violet put an arm around her.

"Don't cry Helen," she tried to consol her, "We'll get him thinking straight again." She smiled at her, but Helena just kept crying.

Oberon sneaked up behind Demetrius and used his magic to put him asleep. "Let sleep o're take thine eyes, mortal."

Violet walked behind him. "Do you always talk in rhyme?"

Oberon cast a backwards glance at her. "….Maybe…."

The others gathered around the sleeping Demetrius.

Javert pointed at him. "He's waking up."

Demetrius began to stir. "Nyaah?"

Helena bounced on her heels. "Demetrius!"

Rubbing his head, Demetrius stood. "My love! My heart yearns for you!"

Helena beams and held her arms out to him. "Come to me my love!"

Demetrius shoot her a puzzled look. "What? I wasn't talking to you, you toad!"

He pushed past her and took Violet's hand. He kissed it and kneeled at her feet.

Violet looked at the others around her for help. "What?" she said to Demetrius.

"My heart beats for you forever!" He looked up at her with an expression full of love. "What is you're name, my lovely dove, my dainty duck?"

Violet struggled to wrestle her hand away from Demetrius and try to tell him that this was a mistake. Helena began bawling again. "Violet, what on earth have you done to my Demetrius?"

"Oh sweet Violet, my precious flower!" He grasped her hand again and tried to kiss it once more. Violet slapped him.

"Eew, get away from me you sicko!" She turned and ran down the opposite direction on the path. Demetrius followed after her, leaving Helena still sobbing.

"Wait come back!" he cried.

After a while they ran out of sight of the group. Violet was growing weary and Demetrius was catching up with her.

"Oh how I dote upon thee sweet Violet!" He called to her.

"You creep! Go away!" she snapped at him.

"How can I go away when my heart only follows you?"

Violet turned suddenly around, stopping Demetrius in his tracks. Throwing her hands in the air, she screamed at him. "Dude look, you're a married man! You married Helena! You just can't love me! It's wrong!"

Demetrius pushed her statement away with a wave of his hand. "Bah! I was blinded for a moment, but I shall love you for eternity! Helena is a thorn but you Violet, you are the rose!"

"But the only reason you love me is because of magical love juice that was squirted in your eyes!" She tried to reason.

"It matters not by what power I came to you, but that I am here now."

"Oh for the love of- I can't take you any more!" She looked around and found a nice thick fallen branch, just right for the swinging.

"Wha-?" was all Demetrius could say before branch connected with his head. He was down for the count and seeing stars. Violet tossed the branched aside and rubbed her hands.

"Well that takes care of that."

She could hear the group coming up on the road.

"Oberon, over here!" She whistled and waved them over. They hurried to reach Violet and the unconscious Demetrius.

"Quick put some more juice in his eyes!" Oberon hurried towards them and kneeled over Demetrius' unconscious body. He careful squeezed the last small drops from the flowers into Demetrius' eyes. Demetrius groaned and his eyelids began to flutter open. Violet took hold of Helena's arm and moved her in front of Demetrius.

"Helena stand right here!"

Demetrius groaned and grasped his head where the branch had greeted it. "Oh my head…" He sat up.

Helena sat next to him. "Demetrius?" He looked at her.

"Helen my love! How came I here?"

"Oh Demetrius!" Helena, still crying, leapt into his arms and the couple fell backwards.

Oberon smiled. He waved to his fairies. "Come Puck, let us slip away unseen, pack to Tatania, my fairy queen."

Violet shook her head. "Seriously, cut it out with the rhymes."

"Fine, let's go." The fairies flew away.

After much hi-fiving and partying on the way home (except for Javert, who showed no emotion as usual), they group finally reached the house. They walked in, Javert and the happy couple now holding each other in a tight embrace went to the living room, and Violet went to the kitchen where Erik and Alice were.

"We're back- What the hey!"

Erik and Alice were sitting at the kitchen table sipping from tea cups. Erik had on a pink floral cap and an apron with a big heart on it. Seeing Violet, Erik stood up and turned to Alice.

"It has been quite exhilarating playing with you this evening, but now child I do believe it is time for your bed."

"Very well." Alice stood and curtsied. "Thank you Mr. Erik." She gave Violet a hug then left and went to bed.

Violet, holding her arms, stepped towards Erik and smiled. " Nice hat." she said.

"Thank you," Erik said and pulled it off. "Did everything go alright?"

Leaning back on the table, Violet said, "Jack again has Jill and naught shall go ill. There were a couple of road bumps, but it all worked out."

"What sort of road bumps?"

Violet blushed. "Well Demetrius sort of saw me first and fell in love with me instead of Helen….. It was actually rather flattering, some of the things he said to me, except the fact that they were induced by a love potion. Anyway, thank you for watching the kids. Goodnight monsieur."

Erik let out a brisk sigh then cleaned up his and Alice's tea party mess before slinking off to his nightly haunts.

[Flashback to earlier that evening]

Erik was up in the library. Nothing exciting was going on at the moment and he was growing bored. He sat on the library sofa with parchment and paper, trying to work on a new composition. However, the muses seemed to have left him and he was completely uninspired. "_This must be how Violet feels_," he thought. Setting the paper on a nearby table, he stood up and stretched, then went to leaf through Violet's book collection for something to read.

At that moment however, Violet walked in holding Tom and Alice's hands.

"Say Erik," she said, "I was wondering if I you'd do me one teensy favor."

Erik looked her over for a second, trying to figure out what the 'favor' was. Finally he agreed. "Sure, what is it?"

Violet pushed Tom and Alice towards him. "Do you mind watching Tom and Alice while Helen and I go find Demetrius? You would? That's great! Thanks, see you later! Bye!" Then she turned around and ran out of the room.

Erik stretched an arm out to her and cried in a distressed voice, "Wait, but I-" Too late though, she was gone.

Tom sneezed.

Erik turned around to see the children looking at him expectantly.

All was quite as they returned each other's stares.

Tom took Erik by the hand and dragged him outside. He whistled the whole way, and talked to Erik about lots of things with his voice going a mile a minute. Since he was speaking in that famed Southern drawl, Erik didn't understand a word. Finally, Tom stopped when the two reached the tallest tree on the edge of the woods.

"What is it that we're doing, Tom?" Erik inquired.

"I'm goin' tah climb this here tree to impress Alice." He said brightly.

"And why am I involved in this?"

Tom looked at him like the answer was obvious and that Erik was dumb for not knowing already. "In case I fall and break mah neck, you're to read me my last rights. Then Alice will cry over me and everythin' an' she'll love me forever."

"O-okay. So that way, even though you're dead, it will be all right, because you will then have a girlfriend?"

"Yep."

Erik just nodded and watched the boy work. After several minutes of trying and failing to even properly grasp the tree, Tom gave up. But naturally, in his brave little boy demeanor, he pretended like it was his idea, and he just changed his mind about trying to get up that awfully big tree. Luckily though, he was struck again with a new inspiration.

"You know on second thought, climbin' a tree is overrated, but bein' a conductor would be amazing! Oh the boys back home'd be jealous! Me ridin' the rails 'cross America!" He turned and ran back to the house, still talking as he went. "There's a toy train upstairs that I can practice with all night!"

Five minutes later the house was filled with the sound of Toms snores. Erik carried him to his bed and he and Alice watched for a moment as he slept. They left the room, and carefully closed the door behind them. Alice turned to Erik and smiled.

"Now that Tom is asleep, you and I can have a tea party!" She said happily as she stared at him with her big shiny blue eyes.

Erik grew red. "Oh, um…" Harry walked by holding a large stack of papers and notes with goggles on his face that made his eyes four times their normal size. "Hello Harry!" Erik walked over to him. "Would you like a turn watching the children?" He gave him a pleading look.

Harry looked from behind his stack to Alice then back at Erik.

"Oh I would," he said, " but I have some very important experiments I need to work on." He continued on his way.

Erik was about to rush after him, when he felt a tugging at his shirt. Alice looked up at him and smiled.

"Come on please?"

A few minutes later, one would find the two at their tea party in the kitchen.

Alice poured herself some tea then asked, "Would you like another biscuit, Mr. Erik?"

Erik sipped his tea. "Yes, thank you child."

DG: Hee-hee, this chapter was fun.

Erik: I don't think it was that fun.

DG: Oh, come on, you know you love those children.

Erik: No, no, and triple no.

Helena: I GOT BACK DEMETRIUS! *does victory dance*

DG: Well I'm glad somebody liked it.

Harry: I did too, I mean after all, I'M in it.

DG: Right you are. Oh, by the way, for you viewers who are confused, this Harry is not Harry Potter, he is Harry from A Journey To the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne.

Harry: Pleased to make your aquaintence.

DG: Review, and Harry will break the laws of physics for you.

Javert: There will be no breaking of any laws, thank you!

Harry: Hey if it makes Javert upset, I'll gladly do it!


	5. The fop and the brute

**Writer's Block Chapter Four. **

**Disclaimer: **I would like to go back in time so that I could have written these books before the authors did so that I could say that I owned these characters. Until we have that kind of technology, I'll just have to be satisfied with writing fanfics. Erik belongs to Leroux, Javert to Hugo (though I would claim him if I could 3) Helena and Demetrius to Shakespeare, Alice to Carroll, Tom to Twain, Harry to Verne, Sir Percival Blakeney to Orczy, and Odysseus to Homer. And if I forgot anyone, they're not mine. Except for Violet. She's mine, and you can't have 'er, so there.

Another glorious morning, another bright day, another day where our odd family has to rush out of the kitchen because one of Harry's science experiments blew up and stunk up the entire house. Ah, what a happy life they lead. Whilst coughing in the hallway, and while Harry was rapidly apologizing, they happened to notice that Violet was dressed up like a 16th century noble woman. After begging for forgiveness, Harry walked over to her and tugged lightly on the high collar of her dress.

With eyebrow raised he asked, "What is today's getup?"

Patting the hair piled on her head, Violet replied, "This novel is going for a sort of Elizabeth I Renaissance look."

Helena, being from a time when clothes were made by hand at home and not by underpaid children in China, inquired, "Did you make this yourself?"

Violet stared for a second then threw back her head and laughed. "Me? Sew? Heavens no! I don't have the patience for that! The most I ever sewed was an apron in FACS class in high school. The teacher took one look at it than began to cry. I just bought it off the internet."

"Oh," said Helena, who didn't know what the internet was.

Violet winked. "But we can always pretend I did."

After opening all the windows in the house and let the kitchen air out for a while, Demetrius bravely volunteered to reenter the kitchen to deem whether or not the air was once again breathable. Striding back out, he announced that entering the room would not prove to be fatal, and the others went inside. They sat around the table and ate their breakfast, which consisted of Cheerios and orange juice, because Violet didn't feel like cooking. There was one empty spot at the table however. Violet didn't know where Tom was. Probably playing outside. Knowing his character, trying to keep him inside was trying to tell an Italian gondolier to stop that singing. Oh well. They ate breakfast in silence. After a while though, Violet had something she wanted to ask the group.

"Hey guys," she said after draining the milk from her bowl," I was wondering, you know I'm trying to be an author, but I just can't seem to come up with any good ideas. I think I need some creative mentors, and who better to help me than actual book characters? What'd you say? Will you help me?

Without looking up from their bowls, the group replied, "Sure."

Erik looked up from over the newspaper he was reading. "I see no reason why not."

Violet punched the air with her fists. "Sweet! You guys are the best!" She hugged the person nearest to her, who happened to be Harry. He blushed.

All of a sudden the kitchen door flew open and Tom ran in.

"VIOLET! VIOLET!" He yelled. Bending over with his hands on his knees, he panted as he tried to catch his breath.

Violet jumped up and went to him. Grabbing his head with her hands, she looked him over.

"What is it Tom? You're not hurt are you?"

"No," Tom pushed her away, "It's not me. There's two men fightin' each other out front, an laws is it cool!"

Violet put her hands on her hips. "What? Are they arguing or-"

"No ma'am," Tom cut her off, "It looks like they's fightin' to the death!"

She knit her eyebrows and pushed her sleeves up to her elbows. "We'll see about that." Hiking up the skirts of her dress, she hurried out of the house.

Once outside, the sounds of battle could be heard. She ran around to the front yard, and there saw to men, each armed with swords, slashing and hacking at one another. The first, smaller and lighter, was clad in foppish 18th century clothes, complete with ponytail tied back by a ribbon and a monocle that had fallen from his face and was dangling from his clothes. The second was dressed in a Greek tunic and sandals. He was very large and well built. They were both quite clearly fighting to kill. The first tried to aim a pistol at the second, but it was knocked from his hand by a clean swing by the second. The second then rushed at the first but the latter whipped out his rapier and took a good stab at his arm. The second roared and swung but missed.

Violet rushed over to them, just out of the line of fire. "'Scuse me!" she tried to say to them. They didn't seem to hear her over their battle cries. She tried talking a little louder to get their attention. "Pardonnez-moi?" Still, nothing.

"Take that!" cried the first, swinging at the second.

Finally, losing all patience, Violet screamed, "EXCUUUUUSE MEEEE!"

The two stopped mid fight and blinked.

Violet brushed back a piece of her hair. "Thank you! No will you two mind explaining to me why you're maiming each other on my front lawn?"

The first gasped. "Your majesty!" He ran to Violet and took her hand. Kneeling before her, he kissed it. Very confused, Violet just stood there for a moment while he groveled. The second looked on, slightly amused. Then Violet remembered she was in costume.

"Um… I'm not the Queen of England, this is just a costume."

"Oh." He let go of her hand and stood, cheeks slightly red.

Wiping off her hands on the skirt of her dress, Violet continued, "Now please, explain your behavior."

The Second stepped forward. "Dear woman, I was in the middle of slaughtering a wandering tribe of ogres that were blocking my path, when this man showed up and started attacking me!" He pointed at the other with a sweep of his arm.

"There is no need for senseless violence!" The first yelled. "Those ogres were doing nothing to you, they were innocent!"

"But they are still monsters!"

"What difference does that make?"

Violets eyes widened and she let out a laugh of excitement. "Whoa, there are ogres around here? No way!" The other two just gave her a blank stare. "Well, anyway, back to the point, you guys shouldn't fight each other to solve a problem, I'm sure there's a more diplomatic and peaceable way to fix this" She grinned at them, hoping they'd buy it.

The men looked first at Violet, then at each other. After blinking for a second, they raised their weapons and with a cry of, "Never!" rushed towards each other.

Violet bravely stepped between them. She held out her arms to stop them. The two screeched to a halt.

"STOP!" she cried, "What is it with men and killing each other? Do men just like to show how strong they are to impress every one. 'Cause frankly, it ain't working."

Both men cast their eyes down sheepishly. The second spoke in a quiet voice. "If we don't fight we feel kind of useless."

Putting a hand on both their shoulders, Violet assured them, "You're not useless. You're strong, handsome men with families to protect and take care of. You don't have time to get killed over something silly like this."

The first slightly nodded his head. "I suppose that's right…."

"So what do ya say? Are you friends?"

The men turned towards each other and stood for a moment with out speaking. Rubbing the back of his neck, the first said, "We have been acting rather foolishly."

The second put a hand on the first's shoulder. "Forgive me friend."

Violet wiped her eye. "I just love happy endings." She pulled a hanky from… Somewhere, and blew her nose.

The second man turned towards her with his arms folded. "Now who are you maiden? Are you some sort of sorceress like Circe, leading men to their doom? Or are you a kind (if not somewhat crazy) hostess like the beautiful Calypso?"

"I'd go with Calypso." Violet replied. "My name is Violet. And though it's been a long time since Mythology 101 in high school, am I correct in believing that you are Odysseus, the king of Ithaca?"

Odysseus bowed. "You are wise fair one. You do know your Greek mythology!"

Violet smiled then turned towards the other man. "But you I'm not so sure. There's a wide variety of people you could be."

The foppishly dressed man bowed before her also. "Mademoiselle, you have the pleasure of addressing Sir Percival Blakeney, baronette. "

Violet gasped then bounced on the balls of her feet as she took his hand and shook it with a lot of energy. "OH MY GOSH! The Scarlet Pimpernel? Awesome! I love that old movie they made of you! 'Sink me!' You're great at playing an idiot!" And there was that ever present crazy/happy personality of Violet's we all love. The diplomatic and polite air disappeared into the wind.

Wrestling his hand away from her, Percy said, "Er, thank you! I suppose…"

"You must forgive her, she has issues with tact." said a voice behind Violet.

Violet jumped, then recognized the voice as Erik's. Erik, ever the slinking one, must've slipped behind her while she was talking to Percy and Odysseus. "Oh, hey there Erik!" Turning her attention back to the other two men, she continued, "Well, listen, I've been taking in a lot of book characters lately like how little kids take in stray pets, so you might be able to stay with me if you have no where else to go. But I still have two roommates moving in soon, so if you wanted to stay, I don't know if I'll have enough room…"

"You needn't worry yourself about me," Percy assured her, "My darling Marguerite and I have a lovely little cottage not far from here, so I shan't need to stay."

"Phew!" said Violet, " I was worried there."

"But what about me?" said Odysseus, "In Ancient Greece it was customary for a guest to receive a room in the home of the host!"

Violet put a finger to her chin and thought about that for a second. "Hmm…. Do you mind sharing with Harry?"

Odysseus looked shocked. In a snooty voice he said, "Share? A king of Ithaca does not _share _a room."

Violet shrugged. "Well I'm afraid that's the best I can do."

"You know, way back when both Circe and Calypso had me sleep with them. Why don't you?"

After that remark was when Odysseus' face formally met Violet's palm. With a very, _very _hard slap, Violet actually managed to send Odysseus to the ground. Erik and Percy stood in the background, slightly terrified. Violet picked (as well as she could, because the man was heavy) Odysseus up by his tunic. When she had him back on his feet, she grabbed him painfully by the ear.

"How dare you?" she yelled, "I don't know what type of women Circe and Calypso were, but _I _have standards. What do you think I am, little Miss Prostitute? And what happened to 'A king of Ithaca does not share a room?' Frankly, I will only occupy the same bed with whoever I get married to… Not that I'll probably ever get married. If you like sleeping with women, find yourself a harem to stay at, but keep away from my bedroom!" Odysseus was actually quaking with fear at this point because, hey, women are scary.

Erik silently applauded Violet in his mind. "Bravo Violet!"

Pushing back another strand of her short blond hair that had fallen over her face during her rant, Violet pointed to the house and said to Odysseus, "Now, Odysseus," she was trying to calm down, "Find Harry and have him show you to your room."

"Yes madam!" Odysseus quickly ran to the house, threw open the door and hurried inside. Percy was stifling his laughter and followed him to the house.

Violet was still fuming a bit when she and Erik turned to go back to the house.

"Can you believe that guy Erik?" she said to him as they walked. "Asking to sleep with me, gross! As if I don't have standards! And besides, isn't he married? What will poor Penelope think? Well anyway, one more guest, quite the crowd I've got at Chateau Chateau, don't you think?

"Hmm? Oh yes of course." Erik was kind of staring into space.

"Are you okay Erik?"

"Yes it's just I've had a lot on my mind. I mean, just a few days ago, I was in my own dark, quiet, peaceful world. Now I've been tossed into this topsy-turvy house with a lot of misfit book characters and you. By nature I'm not much of a social person, but now I'm being forced to be one by a nearly insane young woman!"

Violet nodded. "Wow, I bet that's harsh."

"You bet it is."

"You know what Erik?" Violet said as they reached the porch. "I think all you need is a vacation. Some time away from insane young women." Erik pulled the door open for her and she entered the house. "Some bonding time with the guys."

"FISHING? You're making me go _fishing_? With _them_?" Erik was wearing a fishing cap with lures dangling from it. He was desperately trying to argue with Violet, but to no avail. She just thrust a fishing pole at him.

Some of the other guys didn't seem to happy about that either. Little Tom however, was ecstatic.

"Oh boy, a weeklong fishin' trip! Aunt Polly would never let me do this!"

Javert tugged uncomfortably at the neck of the hideous jacket Violet had put him in. "Why must I go? I'm an inspector, not a fisherman. And how do you expect me to have fun with this monster?" He pointed at Erik.

Odysseus triumphantly raised his muscular arms in the air. "I'll catch a thousand fish with my bare hands!"

Percy looked a bit sheepish. "I really should be getting back to Marguerite…"

Harry of course made sure to pack all of his scientific journals. "I'll be able to catalog different fish species!" he cried with excitement.

Demetrius just seemed indifferent about the whole thing.

"Nonsense!" said Violet to the men who were against the trip. "You'll have a great time. Catch a bunch of fish for me!"

The girls waved good bye as they (somewhat reluctantly) waved goodbye. Helena was a little worried as the one driving was Harry, and she didn't trust that science crack, as she called him.

When the car was out of sight, Alice looked up at Violet. "What do we do now that they're gone?" she asked.

Violet took her hand and they walked back to the house. "That, is a good question."

* * *

**DG: **Wow, chapter five. This chapter wasn't as much fun as the last, but it has The Scarlet Pimpernel, so I'm good.

**Percy: **Well I am pretty amazing.

**DG: **Yes, yes you are.

**Odysseus: **Not that amazing.

**DG: **Oh, don't be so jealous.

**Odysseus: **I am not jealous. But changing the subject, I have to protest against the way you portrayed me in this chapter. I resemble more of Heracles than myself. What ever happened to the brilliant Odysseus?

**DG: **This is just the way you are in this chapter. I assure you you'll be more in character as the story progresses. Besides, you had moments where you did stupid things, Cruel Ulysses.

**Odysseus: **Do NOT call me that!

**Percy: ***laughs* You weren't very popular with the Romans, were you Ulysses.

**Odysseus: **Shut up!

**DG: **Right, before we sign off, I'd like to state a few things. First of all, for some reason, my EANs don't seem to come up when I add them on . It says it saves them, then shows them in a preview, but when I actually look up my story, it doesn't have them, except on chapter 3 and now since I put them n my story while typing it. I don't understand that. Second of all, I would like to remind all you cool cats out there, that reviews = love. As such, I haven't got any lovin' yet, and I would be eternally grateful if somebody in the world who cares about those starving authors out there, would leave some form of feed back. I know I have a couple of viewers, and if you really care about the world, you'd show the authoress that you support her. Send me a virtual tip. I'd appreciate it really.

**Odysseus: **Wow that was a long and somewhat annoying rant.

**DG: **I know. Now Percy, would you like to sign us off?

**Percy: **Gladly, mlle. *ahem* Review dear viewers, and I shall stop a revolution for you. Until next time dear viewers, Adieu.


	6. Boredom, presents, and fishing failures

**Writer's Block Chapter Six**

**Disclaimer: Yes, all these characters belong to me *Honest Abe walks up and smacks my head with a newspaper* Hey! That hurt! All right, Honest Abe is making sure I never tell a lie. These characters don't belong to me. Such is the sad story of my life. **

**Except Violet. She's mine. Oh and Dave is mine too. Don't touch them. **

Our lovely ladies were sitting in the living room sipping hot chocolate. Violet was sitting on the couch with Helena on the floor in front of her, as she was tying Helena's long hair in a complicated braid. Alice was lying in a pile of pillows and mindlessly shuffling a pack of playing cards. Earlier she had tried making a house of cards, but there was this whole mess with Violet sneezing, and she'd given up. Between painful tugs on her hair, Helena tried to ask if Violet thought the boys would be safe without them. After all, boys are stupid and who knows what would happen on this trip.

"They'll be fine," Violet reassured her, "They're only twenty miles away. If anything happens, we'll know. Hand me a bobby pin" Helena handed her a handful of pins. With one last powerful tug, and a scream from Helena, she got the hair back and pinned it.

They heard the front door open and close. There were some footsteps and muffled voices. Who could it be? Helena naturally was worried. Violet just shrugged. Helena couldn't understand how Violet could have lived on her own for so long with out getting murdered. Luckily though, there wasn't anything to worry about. The living room door opened and Jane entered.

"Hello, Helena, Alice, Violet! I'm back!" she wobbled over to an armchair and plopped down in an un-lady like manner. She sighed from satisfaction and smiled. Closing her eyes she said, "Oh, I'm so tired…"

"Hey there Jane," Violet said as she handed a watery eyed Helena a mirror to see her hair.

"I've found Edward. I hope you don't mind, I left him inside. Would it be alright if we stayed a while?"

"Certainly!" Violet noticed a piece of hair she hadn't put in Helena's braid. "Shoot. I'll have to take it out and start ov-"

"NO!" Helena cried, "It's fine, really!"

Jane thanked Violet then asked, "So where is everyone else?"

"Sleeping with the fishes." said Violet.

Jane jumped up in her chair. "YOU KILLED THEM!"

"No, they're on a fishing trip. The camp is right on the river bank. They are 'sleeping' with the fishes."

Jane eased back again. "Oh."

Helena yawned and stood. She stretched her arms, and then tried to touch her toes. "My bottom was falling asleep from sitting so long. Anyway, what are we supposed to do while the boys are gone?"

Violet opened her mouth to say something then stopped. She hadn't though about that when she'd sent them off. "Well….. Hmm…."

The four women (well, three women and one ten-year-old) thought about it for a minute. After all, it's not like they could just sit and waste away for seven days. Well, they could, but they didn't want to.

Finally Violet got an idea. "We could have a girl's day and go shopping and stuff."

Jane clapped her hands together. "Wonderful idea! That sounds like fun! Better than playing cards all day….." Alice sheepishly hid the pack of cards she was playing with behind her. "I'll go tell Edward that we're going."

If this story were a movie, more specifically a chick-flick, this would be one of those useless party montage moments that don't really help the plot along and are kind of useless. The girls went to the spa and relaxed for a while. After that they went to the mall and bought enough clothes to supply a third world country. They hit the amusement park next; Jane got motion sick on the tilt-a-whirl. Lastly they went to see a 3-D movie. Then all that fun was over and they still had six days to go.

"That was fun!" said Helena when they got home.

"Now what?" asked Jane.

Again they thought.

…**...**

A few days later found the women (Mr. Rochester kept to his room the whole time, very tired and still getting used to his new surroundings) all sluggishly lying around the house flopped on furniture and the floor, covered in chocolate wrappers, and still in their pajamas.

Poor Alice probably had it the worst, being a child with a short attention span. "The last four days have been _so_ boring!" she cried.

Helena sighed. "I know! And we still have two more to go!"

The girls groaned.

"Hey!" Violet snapped her fingers and sat up. "I know! We could do something to surprise all the guys when they get back!"

"Like what?" asked Jane.

Violet grinned. "How about an early Christmas?"

She stood up and strode over to her phone. She picked it up and punched in a couple of numbers. After waiting a few seconds, the other line picked up.

"Hey Dave!" she said to the person on the other end, "How are you and Cindy?" That's great! Hey, I was wondering if you might help me with a little favor. Do you mind bringing over one of dad's moving trucks and helping me bring some stuff home? No, my roommates aren't moving in yet. What kind of stuff? Oh some furniture, some books and paintings… and a pipe organ. What! Please Dave? Oh, uh-uh. No way! I won't say it! Oh fine! 'David Byron Hancock is the bravest, most brilliant, handsomest man who ever lived. He could have any girl or any job he wants. He conquers all and rules all. His sister Violet is nothing. She is not the bravest, most brilliant, or prettiest woman who ever lived. She can't have anything. She has no friends. She is just a blip of an existence.' There, happy? Okay, tomorrow at noon. 'K. See you!"

She hung up the phone. Helena and Jane were standing by her.

"What was that about Vi?" asked Jane.

"You'll see." Violet grabbed her car keys. "Come on, out to the car, we're going shopping. Edward can come if he wants."

…**...**

Let's take this moment to see what the boys are up to, shall we? (I'm making this up on the spot, so don't kill me if it doesn't make any sense)

Tom lifted up his fishing line. "Look I caught another one!" He grinned from ear to ear.

The other men grumbled. None of them had caught anything yet, and the trip was almost over. Percy had spent all morning trying to properly tie his cravat that just would not tie. He refused to go fishing in his nice clothes. The others asked him why he brought his good clothes on a fishing trip in the first place, and he said that he didn't want them to be lonely.

Odysseus occupied his time doing push ups and running laps through the woods.

He did stop for a while to have a chat and a glass of wine with a minor god, but for the most part, he just exercised.

Harry was busy as ever taking notes and testing the water quality of the river. Taking a break, he walked over to Demetrius and sat down next to him. Demetrius had been practicing lines from The Merchant of Venice, but now he was taking a cat nap. He opened an eye when Harry sat next to him.

"Hello," he said sleepily.

"Hello," Harry said back. "You don't seem to be having much fun."

"I'm more of an indoors person." Demetrius yawned and propped himself up on his elbows.

"Really?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "But the outdoors are so much fun. Honestly, after spending all that time stuck in the center of the earth, I try to stay outdoors as much as possible. That experience made me…. Rather claustrophobic."

"See, it was the opposite with me. That whole experience I had in the forest, chasing after girls, getting rejected, fighting, having my love affairs interfered by fairies, made me not like the outside as much."

Harry nodded. "I see." Then he and Demetrius just began to talk and quickly became good friends.

Javert and Erik were sitting on a log on the edge of the river by Tom. Javert just kind of stared into space, but Erik drummed his fingers on the log and wished desperately for a sheet of paper and a pen because he'd just had a revelation for a new composition. Tom was struggling to reel in another fish. Javert reminded him to not go over his limit. Tom was falling all over the place trying to bring in the fish. Odysseus came over to help him. The two struggled but to no avail. Soon Harry and Demetrius were involved too. Even with the four of them, they couldn't reel the stupid fish in. Demetrius slipped and splashed water on Percy.

"HEY!" He shouted. Now his clothes were ruined. He sighed. Now that his outfit was spoiled, he figured he might as well help too, and went to go catch the fish.

Erik, deciding that helping was better than doing nothing, also joined in the fight. Javert just looked on. The men asked him to come over and help, but he refused. Odysseus went over to him and pushed him into the river. Javert flopped around in the water for a second, then scrambled out and dripped water all over the ground. He was wide eyed and hyperventilating. Harry and Demetrius laughed.

"Is the kitty afraid of the water? Can't the kitty swim?" Harry taunted him.

Javert threw his nightstick at Harry's face.

"OW!" Harry screamed. "WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THAT WITH YOU?"

The men still struggled to bring in the fish. With one last tug, they managed to get it. Unfortunately though, it turned out to be a river monster and not a fish.

"Sweet mother of Zeus…." said a wide eyed Odysseus. The other ran for it.

…**...**

Well that was fun, wasn't it? Now let's go back to the girls.

The next day, Helena, Violet and Edward were lounging on the back porch waiting for the moving truck. Jane had wanted to go too, but Edward told her to stay home, he didn't want his little Jane to work to hard. Plus, someone had to watch Alice, who was very put out at not being allowed to go. But, she pulled it together and made Mr. Rochester a daisy chain.

The day was extraordinarily hot and they sat fanning themselves with sheets of paper lying around. Finally the truck pulled up and Violet's older brother hopped out.

"Hey Vi!" he laughed as saw her, "Good to see you!"

Now her brother had movie star good looks. Wavy blonde hair, sparkling grey eyes, a nice jaw with a cleft in it, and lot's of muscles. He was at one time what we like to call a 'ladies man'. And Helena was weak to the power of his looks.

With a dreamy expression Helena said to Violet, "Is that your brother? Gosh he's cute!" She sighed longingly.

Violet gave her a look and whispered, "Whoa lady! He's married, and so are you!"

Dave walked towards them. Violet threw her arms around him in a tight embrace.

"Dave! Oh, I missed you! Thank you so much for coming!"

Dave smiled and hugged her back. Helena walked over and began to say, "Hello there, my name is-" But then Violet kicked her very hard in the shin.

"OW!" Helena rubbed her leg where it had been kicked. "What was that for?"

Violet ignored the comment and continued to talk to Dave. Helena kept trying to get Violet's attention, but Violet acted as though Helena didn't exist.

Finally, Dave said, "So where am I supposed to pick up this junk you called me out for?"

"I'll show you." Said Violet. "It's some ways away. About twelve miles."

"All right. Get in and lead on." He gestured towards the van. Violet turned around and got in, while Dave gave the van a quick check. Helena took this opportunity to talk to her, while she and Mr. Rochester squeezed in to the back of the 'cockpit' of the van.

"So what was that kick for?" she asked, understandably a little grumpy.

Violet had to remind her that Helena, as a character, was invisible. "He can't see or hear you, so don't talk."

"Why not?" Helena figured that it didn't make any difference either way.

"Because if I accidentally look at you and/or make a comment to what you are saying, my brother might think I'm crazy." Violet explained.

"Oh." Helena was still a little put out, but she saw the logic in this.

Mr. Rochester just thought to himself that women were very silly.

Dave came back in and they took off. As they drove along, Dave and Vi had some pleasant sibling catching up conversation, and Mr. Rochester and Helena were very uncomfortably squeezed into the back. A bit too close for comfort for people who were married to other people. Eventually, they got up the mountain and reached Erik's cave.

They got out and Dave looked a bit unhappy.

"Jeez, this is where all the stuff we're picking up is? Some freaky cave?"

"Unfortunately yes." Said Violet. "Flashlights on." Then the four of them went into the cave. Dave sneezed very loudly.

"ACHOO! I seem to have an allergy to dark and damp caves…"

Violet rolled her eyes, even though it was dark and no one could see. "Oh, don't be such a wuss Dave."

Dave strode next to her, and puffed out his chest. "Excuse me, who's a wuss? Certainly not David Byron Hancock, ruler and conqueror of all!

Violet shook her head, disgusted. "Sometimes you are so self centered."

"What else is there to be centered about?"

"How you got married I still don't know." Violet sighed.

They continued down their path to the "dark side", as Dave called it. Violet and Dave continued to argue with each other. Helena and Mr. Rochester were walking just behind them having a pleasant chat together, and remarking about how silly the other two were. Violet heard them and wanted to say something back, but with Dave there, she couldn't. After a while, they reached the end of the tunnel and walked into Erik's old home. It was a cavernous room, one that would make Harry sick if he saw it. There were a variety of instruments lined up against one wall, including a smaller pipe organ. Papers that had compositions scribbled on them were scattered to and fro. There was a black coffin on the ground, wide open, and Violet was tempted to just leave it there, but she decided it would have to come with them.

Dave, mouth agape, was completely bewildered at the spectacle. "What is this?" He asked.

"This was once the home of one of my friends," she answered as she bent over to pick up some papers off the floor.

"You have a friend who lived in a cave?"

"Yes actually."

Dave just nodded as he scrutinized the room. After a moment, he said, "I think we're gonna have to make a few trips."

It took them a few hours, but the four of them managed to get the bulk of the stuff out of the cave and into the moving truck. Dave couldn't figure out how in the world Violet got the stuff out so quickly. He told her that she must be very strong to carry all of it. Violet agreed with him. Helena giggled and Mr. Rochester flashed a small smile.

Then came the time to bring out the organ. After a quick examination, they discovered that the organ could be easily dismantled to make carrying a bit easier. Not too much easier however, it still weighed a ton. Violet and Dave struggled to bring it out piece by piece, even with the invisible help of Helena and Mr. Rochester. Mr. Rochester and Helena put all of their effort into it, and Dave was surprised at 'Violet's' strength. After a struggle, they finally started to load the last piece of the organ into the truck.

"This…. Organ… Is freakin' heavy! …Sis….." Dave managed to spit out.

Sweat was pouring down Violet's for head as she answered, "I'm putting all my effort into it! Girls don't have muscles like guys do!"

"But you did sports in high school!"

"Yeah, swimming….. Not…. Weightlifting!"

"Almost… There….." With one final push they got it into the truck. "Got it! Phew, I am glad that's over. You owe me big time for this!"

Violet sat down and fanned herself off. "I know and I am grateful!"

"But you know you are setting this back up on your own."

Violet sighed. "I'm ever so glad that you love me so…."

So, now that the task was done, they got back into the car and drove home. Violet and Dave gave each other a quick hug. Violet asked if he would stay for dinner, but he had to get back to his wife. So they said a fond goodbye and he left. When he was gone, Violet rubbed her hands together and she turned to Helena and Mr. Rochester.

"So, any volunteers to help me set all this stuff back up?" She asked.

Helena raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

Violet sighed. "Didn't think so."

…

**DG: Wow, finally, another chapter finished. Sorry it took so long. **

**Helena: I'm sorry to say, I don't think anyone cares. **

**DG: Well you can just- LOOK! SOMETHING SHINY! **

**Helena: SHIIIIIINY! *runs off to find the shiny***

**DG: Yeah. Any way, I would once again humbly beg any viewers I have, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, leave a review. I don't have any. Even if you're telling me how much you hate my story, just say something. **

**Helena: Wow. Desperate much?**

**DG: Don't you have something shiny to find?**


End file.
